Affection Addiction

I've been doing a lot of searching lately. Over the last two days I must have listened to at least a dozen sermons. I've been searching, but I really don't know exactly what I'm looking for. The best way to put it, I guess, is I've just been searching for...more. I want to go to a deeper, more self-shattering level with God. And lately I've encountered Truth in a surprisingly fresh way. I've been thinking a lot about things I've never given much thought to in the past; things like true beauty and what it means to live out God's dream for His bride.

This all started when I recently prayed that God would give me an injection of wisdom. I'm talking the kind of wisdom that's deep and fierce. The kind that when it hits you, it knocks you off your spiritual feet. I've prayed for this several times over the last 15 years or so, and each time it's like God gets me outright addicted to His word. I'm like a crackhead trying to get a fix. Every injection both satisfies me, yet leaves me wanting more.

God has stirred my affection for Him, and I am addicted to it. When I am addicted to knowing and loving Christ well, my life is richer, my relationships are deeper, and I have a vitality that is altogether uncommon. I want to hold on to it and never let go. Now, I am jealous for the things that stir my affections for God. My hope is that I can flood my life with Christ-exalting, worship-creating things and avoid anything that would rob me of the joy and vitality that I have when God is at the center of my affections.